Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Diva Cup!

It came! It came!  It came!

My Diva Cup came in the mail today! 

Side really is scary how big it looks!

Top View

Option 1 for inserting the cup

For those of you who aren't my friends on facebook, or who missed my drama last week let me catch you up to speed.

As Hubs and I were leaving the house the other morning, we realized there was a shrill, annoying, buzzing sound coming from our yard.  It was our sewer alarm.  Our community (we live in an unincorporated town), has a part time sewer man, who happens to live down the street from us.  So, hello awkward phone call to neighbor explaining that our shitter is acting up. 

That night we came home to no strange noises, but got a strange call from Sewer Man.  Sewer Man explained that there was a wiring issue, HOWEVER.....if I would please stop flushing my tampons, it would be appreciated as they are very hard on the sewer system.

WHAAAAAAT?  I had never heard such a thing!  I grew up on a farm with a septic tank and was so glad when I finally moved to the big city with legit sewers that could handle poop AND toilet paper in the same flush!  I never gave any thought to it....I flushed those bloody white mice down the crapper with no second thoughts!

Needless to say, I was only one day into my period and began to break myself of the flushing habit.  Which, I might add, was very difficult!  As I went through the process of wrapping the mess up to throw away with two children and a dog very interested in what I was doing, I had a swinging tampon slap my hand and one wily bastard that rolled off the toilet paper onto my arm.  Ewwwww!

Deciding that I was very grossed out by trashing my blood soaked rags, I went to the Internet to research Cups.  I had done this between Lucy and Ethyl's birth's, and decided against it at the time only because I was trying to get pregnant with Ethyl and was hoping I wouldn't have to deal with my period for a long while.

After researching a few hours, I pulled the trigger and ordered a Diva Cup.  It arrived today!

I pulled it out of the package, read the directions and decided to give it a 'dry run'. 

Let me say this.  Female private regions are incredible things, capable of creating, carrying, birthing children and the whole monthly thing.   They are also GROSS!

I shoved that lovely cup inside myself, twisting and turning per the instructions and felt it seal correctly.  No problem!  That was a piece of cake!  I then 'beared down' while pulling on the little tail and was able to get it out with no issues.  Great!

And then I looked at it.  It had this gloopy mass attached to it.  A white, odorless, yogurty looking mass of gloop as depicted in the following illustration:

I know that this is normal, but it totally grossed me out seeing it in a cup and not soaked into a panty liner.

And now that you know entirely too much about my defunct reproduction organs and menstrual cycle, I will leave you to your own devices.

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