Thursday, March 31, 2011

How to bring up sex toys with your friends.....

This may amaze some of you but, I love my husband!  *gasp*  I realize I complain about him a lot, but Hubs really is amazing.  I am in love and lust with him. I didn't ever think this was odd, until this past New Years Eve.

We went to a grownup party for cards, booze and conversation with roughly 20 other peoples roughly our age......mid 20's to late 30's.  As the midnight countdown began, I got up and went to Hubs and sat on his lap.  Then at midnight I gave him a big old smooch. 

And then became aware of every other person there staring at us like we were freaks of nature.

When I went back to my card table, the other wives looked at me like I nuts.  They then began a huge discussion of how much they hate sex with their husbands and how they pretend to be asleep at night and how they purposely go to bed early to keep from encouraging their husbands.  To say I was shocked doesn't begin to cover it. 

I then looked at them all and asked, "But, don't you like sex? Isn't it fun?"

To which I received stares and began to wonder if I had a third eye popping up on a horn I wasn't aware of.  When they all told me that they didn't really enjoy sex, I asked an even stupider question.  Cause, ya know, I like to go all out.

"Have you tried a vibrator or anything to help things out?"

Holy fucking shit.  You'd have thought I told them to let their spouses beat them with a stick while they are gagged and tied up.  (Although let me say, spanking and bondage can be quite fun at times!)

I was shocked.  In my world, sex is a very key part of our marriage.  Granted, we have had our dry spells due to my mental and physical issues, but I love sex and pleasuring myself when Hubs is unavailable.  Hell, there are times when we both pleasure ourselves in front of each other.  That contact with ourselves and each other is an amazing bonding experience.

We also cuddle almost every night before bed.  We did this every night since we got married and got out of the habit when Ethyl started to sleep with us.  But, now that she has been back in her own bed, we have started it again.  It's incredible what that time does for us.  We talk about our troubles, joys, and gently drift off to sleep.  It's really hard to be mad at someone when you love them with all of your heart and are pressed up against each other.

I am no prude, and have had a vibrator since my freshman year of college.  I figure, how can I tell a guy what I like if I don't know myself?  I'm comfortable discussing my toys with friends.  I'm married with kids, so obviously I've had sex. 

Hubs is well endowed and knows what I like and does a wonderful job meeting my needs.....most of the time.  But there are nights that we are on different wavelengths and I need a little extra buzzzz to bring on my orgasm.  Hubs knows this isn't an insult to fact I have a tough time orgasming without him now. 

So why are we the odd couple?  Do most women dislike sex? Or do most women dislike talking about sex toys?  Did I overstep? you like sex? Do you use sex toys? Would you talk about it with friends?


  1. momafire - you are not odd - I love my husband as much as possible and I'm not ashamed to show it to others. I could have written this blog, I admit I love sex with my husband, but I have the higher sex drive, so we use sex toys to add a bit more sizzle. I haven't discussed sex with my friends, but I did give a friend a wand for her bridal shower.

  2. I am fairly new to the vibrators (actually, new to having regular orgasms). I bought my first after filing for divorce from ex husb at age 38. And now have 7+. Love it. Try to bring it up around friends, sometimes awkward. I had one friend ask "why would you need more than one toy?". I was dumbfounded! LOL.