Monday, April 25, 2011

Tap Dancing and Tape Recorders?

Hubs is odd.  No....strike that, Hubs is very odd and entertaining at times.  Like tonight I was catching up on Glee, and between his snarky Jew comments he told me to watch D. Ray White if I wanted to see some real fancy footwork.  So, after Glee was we went to You Tube. 

I'll let you watch that for a few moments......

Now, if you are should check out his son Jesco and the Hank III song about D. Ray White.  If you were able to follow along with Jesco's ramblings, I'll give you credit.  I was only able to listen for about 50 seconds before my head started to hurt.

Anyway, there's the back story. 

Here's where Hubs got off track.  He started to talk about wanting to learn how to tap dance.  Now, Hubs doesn't really dance.  I had to drag him out on the dance floor at our wedding and it's rare for me to get him to dance any other time.  And when he does dance, he'll give Elaine from Seinfeld a run for her money.  I wish I were joking.  The good thing is, Hubs admits his inability to dance.  In fact, that's why he thought tap dancing would work for him....all he would have to do is move his feet.  He wouldn't really have to do anything with his arms or upper body.

So, we started to research tap dance shoes for men.  Hubs has an interesting fashion sense and felt if he were going to tap dance, he needed cowboy boots in order to do it correctly.  This, as you can imagine didn't go very far as no one else sees the need for cowboy boots with taps on them. 

Next, his concern turned to the financial aspect of learning to tap dance.....because Lord knows we can't spend money on anything!  Luckily, I am a Google Goddess and found FREE tap dancing lessons online!  So, not even taking time to change clothing, Hubs begins to learn to tap dance.  This went on for roughly 4 minutes that seemed to him more like 20 minutes, when he decided tap dancing felt an awful lot like exercise.  BREAK TIME!

We headed into the kitchen where we were discussing tap shoes and whether Hubs should plunge in and purchase them or hold off for a while.  At which point, this conversation occurred:

Hubs: I wonder what the metal they use for tap shoes is?

Me: I don't know.

Hubs:  It's mostly likely steel, but wouldn't it be cool if it were magnesium?  Then sparks would fly from my feet every time I tapped on concrete.  Until my feet burst into flames and melt at 4,000 degrees.   That would be bad.

Me: I need a fucking tape recorder!

Hubs: What?  Why?

Me: So I can record this shit you spout off at random are perfect fodder for my writing, but by the time I get to the computer I can't remember what the hell you said!!!

So, at this point Hubs is considering beginning entering semi-competitive tap dancing, so long as he can wear cowboy boots and bib overalls and learn without actually breaking a sweat.  And I want a tape recorder so I can better report to you the random shit he spouts off.....

No comments:

Post a Comment