Friday, February 11, 2011

Friday Funday!

Kids like gross stuff.  Boy, girl, dog....it doesn't matter.  If it makes us sick, they are going to love it.  Take poop for example.  Lucy has to give us a detailed poop report.  Or the Shit Log as hubby and I call it.  Color, shape and smell are all noted for our records in addition to the amount of toilet paper needed to clean up.  Yesterday we were told she had a poop that not only was green and squishy, but also smelled like grass and required a lot of paper to clean.  We're very proud.

Anyway, today Lucy was giggling like crazy.  I went to see what was so funny, worried about the dog's safety.  I found her in a corner laughing as she was farting.  She proudly told me that her butt was making that noise.  I asked her to be careful and went about my cleaning....we're all about being lazy, er, practicing laid back parenting!  So, an hour later I smell something and go to check Ethyl's britches.  No poop there.  SHIT.  Lucy shit her pants trying to fart.  When I told her that's what happens when you make yourself fart over, and over, and over, and over again, she countered with it wasn't her fault.  Her butt was trying to talk to her.  Once again, we're very proud.

And that was only the start of my day.  You see, despite being told numerous times, and moving all of my beauty products to higher shelves Lucy has a hard time remembering that mom's beauty products are off limits.  My little 3 year old diva got into my hair product, night creme, powder foundation, and glittery lip gloss from the days of actually having a social life and created an unholy mess in the bathroom. 

She had sparkly dark red lip gloss for eyebrows, extra lift in her hair, and one side of her face was noticeably darker from face powder.  Lucy looked like a reject from Jersey Shore meets Toddlers and Tiaras!  She also felt like my blusher brush was dirty and in need of a cleaning and took after it with the foaming hand soap.

I need a beer.

Oh, and I'm in the middle of packing to go out of town for the weekend.  Aren't kiddos great!
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2 comments:

  1. JulieFebruary 11, 2011 at 7:38 PM

    OM gosh this really made me laugh...especially your description of your boobs below. I have two kids as well and I find that, even on my best days, my boobs hardly resemble anything close to what I call boobs. :( Glad I found your blog though. : )

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  2. Mom AfireFebruary 11, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    Thanks! I was really disappointed by my boob shrinkage. I was told so many times: at least they'll never be saggy and whatnot.
    Psssshh! Wish someone would have warned me that they were going to disappear instead trying to reach my belly button. Oh, and the only place I have stretch marks? All over my concave boobage area. Damn, and double damn.

    ReplyDelete

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