Friday, February 18, 2011

Your Heroes Turn Out To Be Assholes.......

We all deal with shit every day of our lives. The size of the pile depends on the day. Recently, I was handed a huge, semi truck load, pile of fresh manure on top of what I thought was un-shitable (yes, I just made up a word, get over it).

A woman I called my aunt, but considered to be my sister turned out to be an asshole.

She is rather close to me in age, and I've always admired her. She was a teen mother, chose to live at home so she could get a college education. She rarely dated. She put her kid first. She was sarcastic and witty and smart and a smartass. Her sense of humor was dark, but it was fun. Her daughter was also like a sister to me and stood by my side when I got married.

I compared every single mother I met to this woman, the standards she set were incredible. I really felt she was a hero.....someone I could look up to.

Turns out, she isn't. And I feel betrayed realizing that. This woman that I annoyed the crap out of during much of my childhood because I wanted to be just like her, is no better than the rest of the world. It's not just a matter of learning that someone has flaws....we all do. Recently, she has shown a side of herself that is full of hate and spite, and it shocks me to see that side of her. Things that she has been doing the past 10/20 years are starting to come up to the surface and they are horrible. Like, trying to ruin someone's life horrible.

And that breaks my heart.

It really sucks when your heroes turn out to be assholes.....

*****the title of this post is from a Shooter Jennings song, just fyi!

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